My Valentine.

Today. actually it's valentines day. Most of you all know. Valentines is the time when you get to celebrate the day of love with that special someone or something. You can celebrate it with a friend, family, your bf/gf, or even your pet which i think would be horrible. But anyways i'm not going to go and on about valentine and it's history because it'll be too boring to read and you will all think "hmm what the bloody hell is she going on about?"
Now where was i..oh yes..my valentine. You could say it was the most special day and night of my life. Not because i saw fireworks with my name on it although i was hoping for that haha. Well technically it's my very first valentine with the man in my life. NOOO not my dad, im talking about the OTHER man in my life..my wonderful boyfriend ANDRE.
Anyways, my boyfriend came over at about 13.00pm to pick me up, the plan was to stay home for a while and watch tv. But because there was a bit of distraction around the house ( i wont even mention how horrible the distraction was), we decided its best to leave the house as quickly as we could. Inside his car, we actually took a while trying to figure out where we want to go (it took us ages).First we planned to go to PIM but neither of us feel like going there that day, then CITOS came to mind, still a no. Then we came with a winning decision to go to MKG instead, eventhough it was kind of far but i guess that didnt bother us one single bit...i think.
As soon as we got there, we were like 2 lost tourist basically we had no idea what we wanted to do. we ended up walking for hrs till we actually came to the point where we were hungry. We ate at this really gorgeous vietnamese restaurant, it was a really romantic experience until a little bundle of joy changed us. As we were eating, there was another couple sitting right next to us with their son. As we looked at the cute and not to mentioned a very funny child, we both were kind of looking at eachother thinking wouldnt it be great to have our own kids someday? (yess after 3 months of dating, we actually have talked about marriage and kids shocking!)
After dinner, we ended up looking around the mall, since it was valentines day, the mall was covered in shocking pink! Now i love pink, it's my favourite color, but yesterday i saw way too much of pink which made me sick! But above all that, the place looked great, it has that romantic vibe going on which made yesterday even more special.
We still had a while till we actually have to go home, we stopped for MY favourite coffee shop COFFEE BEAN. yuum :p.
After a few chit chat and looking around. He did what other guys should have done for the girls during valentine. NO he did not carry me all the way in the mall, he didnt propose DAMMIT, he got me a cute but FAKE rose (hey its the thought that counts.right honey?) it was sweet because again the romantic mood was there, what made it even more special..as i recall it was very windy and well cold,lucky for me, he gave me the tightest hug EVER! it was so cute!!
After that (gosh i feel like we did so many things that day), we thought it would be nice to take a valentine pic before we go, well that was the plan but it got ruined, sooooo many people wanted to take their photos that day, me being a nice girlfriend, looked at my tired boyfriend (little did he know i was even more tired than he was) i decided to cancel our photo thing and just head home.
As soon as we arrived at my house, i really didnt want to go, all i can do was look at him and think to myself "gosh how did i get sooo lucky?" we cuddled a little bit and told eachother how much we love eachother and how neither of us wants to let go it was a moment where my heart kept beating faster and faster. I kissed him goodnight and told him that i loved him.
That was the end of our date.
Haha for you readers out there, you've probably wasted your time reading it, because maybe you were expecting a different ending like maybe..he ended proposing in his car, or maybe he ended up kidnapping me and hold me for ransom. Hha, sorry to let you all down, you might have wasted your time reading this, but i surely had a blast writing it well probably because it all happened to ME!
It might be a date like any other date for some people, but for me, it was truly one of those moment where you know that you are going to be with this person for the rest of your lives. I really cant wait for that.
My first valentine meant alot for me, i spend it with the guy that i love the most.

I LOVE U HONEY! i hope i can spend every valentines day with YOU.

The Little Word.

The word..
I never knew that one simple word can change my entire life..for good.
One simple word can actually change the way i think..change my point of view.
I remember it like it was just yesterday when it happen.
Thinking of it is like waking up from a coma. It's like a bright light flashing right before your eyes.
I cant believe i made that stupid mistake.
Who knew one mistake can change me as a person.
I was a teenager. i knew nothing. all i wanted to do was to have fun.thats all. i didnt expect anything more from it but on the other hand i didnt expect anything less.
I wish i could turn back time or atleast pretend nothing has happend. but it did and i'm ashamed.
That one word..i kept thinking how stupid it is for me not to have think twice about it. its all been done and now i must let go because there's nothing i could've done to prevent it.
How could i have been so blind? I've made a fool of myself.
Oh if i could turn back time, i wish i could that way none of this would've happen.
That one simple word..one little word..one word that really could've changed my life..
I could've said "NO".

Fr. Frank Grappoli

Don't be fooled by the title to whoever is reading this. Just to let you know before i get started. Fr. Frank is not the guy who came up with words 'frank n beans', he did NOT create frankenstein n nooo he's not from frankfurt. Honestly i don't know where he's from but apperently he's Italian. Anyways.....
Fr. Frank is what everyone calls him, not that he's my dad or anything. Basically he's a priest. Why am i writing about a priest you ask? dont think i'm in love with him because i'm not. If you(whoever that is) is thinking dirty thoughts right now, i suggest you piss off.
Now where were we...oh yes...Fr.Frank, he has been a part of my life ever since i was born and since i was able to walk. This man means alot to me, he was the person that actually baptized me back in Rome,Italy. I guess ever since that day, he and my family started to become really good buddies. I dont really remember much about him when i was still in italy but he and my dad were close.
After a few years, it was time for the whole family to move back to Indonesia and start our new life. Fr.Frank usually come and visit us for the holidays and whenever he comes, he just makes the house look so welcoming and it was delightful to see that this old man can actually bring warmth into the house (believe me not alot of old men are able to do that).
Skipping a few years.....and years....and more years...
I was already in my teens, i think i was about 13 or 14 when my dad got a job in Germany and i decided to go with him and continue highschool there. I didnt expect alot of great things happening there. Basically my life wasnt all fun. But one day, a surprising visit really changed me on that one winter day, Fr.Frank heard we were all in Germany, so he decided to do us a little favour by coming to us. Isnt that nice? He stayed with us which made it enjoyable. He's always telling me stories about the days when i was a baby and i used to sit on his lap. I could tell he was surprised to see me all grown up and me telling him stories about my first kiss and my first boyfriend which i think shouldnt be told to any priest!
After that visit, for some reason, i lost contact with him which made me upset, because i miss all his story telling and the excitement on his face whenever he tells it. Trust me, i've known him forever, and i've never seen him get mad or get upset, he's always smiling.
Skipping more years..and another year.a few moreee...........
I ended up leaving Germany due to mental issues, went home to Indonesia for a few months, finished my senior year of highschool in New Zealand and ended up going to Limkokwing Uni in Malaysia.
Since i got back from Malaysia for my 3 months semester break, i kind of forgotten about Fr.Frank and decided maybe he's already forgotten about me and he was a part of my past and i cherished it.
But one hot sunny day in my dad's car, he was going and on about the days when i was little and ask me if i remember Fr.Frank, all of a sudden i get this flashback moment, naturally i said "yes i remember him". Then my dad said "well he asked for your email address and i gave it to him". I usually dont like it when my dad gives out my email to some random person who thinks they know me and all. But this time, i was actually happy and looking forward to reading one of his emails.
Days past by..i decided to check my mail and when i opened it, it was from Fr.Frank. The email was simple but it clearly shows me that he's still alive. It said...

"Dear Stefania,

I had a brief exchange with your Dad a few days ago and he gave me your e-mail address. Just let me know if you receive these lines and then we may communicate for real.
I send you my best.
Fr. Frank"

I was more than happy to write him back. I wrote him a very long email, telling him how happy i was to hear from him, telling him about my life on campus and what i've been up to, it was just one of those emails where you get really excited to write and you really can't stop writing.
I couldnt remember what i wrote but i remember was, i told him to write me back A.S.A.P.
After a few days, i got another email from him which said :

"Dear Stefania:

How do you describe yourself? ~BroWneYeDGIRL~ very good, Fania!
I was so pleased in hearing from you because I see that you have what it takes. Was it the Baptism I was privileged to administer to you in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome coupled with the royal treat the Indonesian Ambassador gave you immediately after it when he held you in his arms as he solemnly walked from the baptistry to the Chapel of Michelangelo's Pieta' and then on through the main isle to St. Peter's statue and to the front of the Papal Altar with Mom and Dad and all of us following in a lovely procession?
Well, that may all be true but never forget a moment that you cannot possibly recall ... when Mom and Dad arrived to Piazza Navona with a big basket and Stefania was peacefully reclining in it. We had our rendez-vous at the Piazza in that carnival atmosphere. It was abour noon time and they still had to eat so they asked me to hold the precious basket while they reached out to a stand for some food and drink. Wow, that was a memorable moment in the Eternal City!

Now you are in Jakarta with your family but in a short while you'll go back to Kuala Lumpur for your studies, right? Do you speak English or Malay there? Having been in Italy, in Russia and in Germany among other places you may have picked up a few languages in your moving around the world. I remember vividly also our days in Moscow and how Mom and Dad were so delightful in taking my to lovely places like the Bolshoy Theater and to the villa of Doctor Zhivago. Memories that will stay with me as long as I live ...

It was nice touching base with you again and I hope I'll get your news as you continue your journey. So, to use your expression, to the ~BroWneYeDGIRL~ all the best with blessings from heaven.

Fr. Frank"


Reading that just makes me weep. Not because it's sad. But because, after all these years, he still remembers all the things that we did and it was touching and heartfelt.
I wrote him back after that, but i still havent heard from him yet, but all i know is Fr.Frank has been living in America for quiet sometime now. He's still a priest, he's happy with it.

Thank you Fr.Frank for being such a wonderful part of my childhood.You have brought so much warmth into my family's life and shown me that you have not forgotten about me. If it werent for you, i wouldnt have anything to talk about or write about. My life wouldnt be as interesting. Now i can show off to my friends that i was baptized by an italian man. awesome hahaha!!

natasha vanessa tuhatu

well the titles says it all. err not really hha.
anyways i'll just get started ey?
my dear dear cousin natasha or 'kk panessa' is what i like to call her, is the only cousin i've had n known since i was a little girl.
she has been my best friend ever since eerrmm...high school.
let me go back..way back back when dinosaurs roam the earth and men discovered fire. okay maybe not that waaay back.

i first met my cousin back in the 90's you know when madonna was still hot, michael jackson shocked us by becoming a white dude and everybody wanted to be phil collins.
anyways....from her side of the story (not madonna's) 'kk panessa' had a surprised reaction when she first saw me at the airport after coming back from italy. Her immediate reaction probably was "gee why does my cousin look so chinese?" ever since that day in the airport, she and i became very close but not too close.

When we were kids, we used to hated eachother 24/7. We never really got along. We wanted to beat the crap out of eachother nonstop. Oh yeahh we were brutal.
I remember this 1 incident that i can never forget..EVER!
I was about 6 or 7 i forgot. me and my family and tasha were enjoying our vacation at this hotel which i forgot the name at Ancol. It was a nice sunny day and me as a little girl was just enjoying it all. We were all gathering at the kiddie pool. Btw back then..i couldnt swim. so this is where the interesting bit comes up.
As you know, kids what they love to do is jump in the water and play 'splashy' to everyone. yes everyone. i enjoyed it. So what happen was i was throwing water to everyone including tasha. I could tell she was annoyed because by the time i was bored with throwing water at her, she immediately came up to me and pushed my head underneath the water. YES..NEWS FLASH my cousin tried to kill me. dunno if she did it on purpose but she tried! Little did she know, unlike her who could swim, i couldnt.
I ended up drowning. I didnt die. I just sank.
Ever since that day, i hated her. I even swore to myself that i would never be friends with her EVER!

But as times changed, well people changed, and so did the both of us.
After 4 years of not keeping in touch with any members of my family due to my father's job. Once again i was reunited with them and yes TASHA. Surprisingly, when we first saw eachother, we just ran like in the baywatch movies excluding the red bathing suit, and hugged eachother. For the first time in my life it actually felt great to see her. Ever since that day, we just became really close.
We started hanging out abit more, have sleepovers, we even tried to dress alike which is wierd. Because she and i we are both 2 very different people. She is more girly and liked r&b music while i'm more on the tomboy side and likes rock music and worships marylin manson, she only has 2 piercings while i have 8, im more of a party person, while she enjoys staying at home and watch dvd's. SO i have no idea how we both became soo close while we have nothing in common but i guess thats what makes us bond.
We even did abit of travelling together ( singapore,bali, bandung, thailand, anyer), during those trips we learned alot from eachother, and i started to treat her more like my sister, since i never had an older sister, its comforting to find someone that i can always rely on.

As time goes, the both of us have grown into woman, we're on our early 20's, trying to find the meaning of life, she's in the middle of finishing her degree in communications, while im trying to get through my 2nd semester doing communications as well. We both have boyfriends now. While back then we sorta think of boys as disgusting little creatures. She's doing a wonderful job at my mum's company and one day i'll be working there aswell.

Im writing this entry not to mock her or make people have negative thoughts about my cousin,
but after all these years through my whining and complaning, My dear cousin Natasha Vanessa Tuhatu, will always be the cousin that i love the most, not because she's older than me, but because she is who she is, peopl love her because she is smart and funny at the same time.
She is my rolemodel, im so proud to have her as a family member, she has been there for me when i needed help, when i was drunk and when i was going through tough times with my family. I cant imagine not having her in my life. For that i'am greatfull.
What makes me proud of her, simple....after all this time, SHE STILL LOVES ME!
Thank you soo much. I have left my heart with my new big sister. xoxoxo.

my blog cherry has been popped!

okay its not what u think...
just started this whole blog thing...
probably cuz i have nothing better to do...
be prepared to read the amazing boring.dull.dpressed.pathetic stories right here.
if u dont like it.dont bother.

yes my blog cherry has been popped by ur truly. aaargh!!!